3 John 9–14
Watch the sermon: https://www.sermonaudio.com/sermons/91726035482760
Last week on September 6, 2026, we sat with the first eight verses of this short letter and saw the Apostle John’s joy over Gaius. Gaius loved the truth, walked in the truth, and opened his life to the brethren and to strangers who went forth for the name’s sake, taking nothing of the Gentiles. The gospel was not only known by him. It was shaping him.
Today the contrast is hard to miss. Beside Gaius stands Diotrephes. John does not warn Gaius that Diotrephes is denying that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. That was the poison in 2 John. Here the problem is different, and in some ways more unsettling. Diotrephes appears to be a man in authority in the church. He likely knows the truth. He may well preach the truth. But the truth is not molding him. He loves to have the preeminence among them.
Is the gospel shaping you? That is the question this letter presses on us.
The Fruit Of A Life Not Shaped By The Truth
John wrote unto the church, but Diotrephes, who loveth to have the preeminence among them, receiveth us not (3 John 9). This was not a wounded feeling. John was an apostle of Jesus, an eyewitness of His life, death, and resurrection, an official spokesman of the Lord. Jesus had said, He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me (Matthew 10:40). To refuse the apostle was to refuse the One who sent him.
Diotrephes was not content to shut the door. He prated against them with malicious words: idle, empty accusations meant to discredit John so the people would listen to him instead. He would not receive the brethren, the traveling ministers who ought to have been lodged and helped on their way. He forbade those who would receive them, and cast them out of the church.
There is a place for biblical church discipline. It runs through the New Testament. This is not that. Discipline is for persistent, unrepentant sin, not for supporting the gospel and walking in love. The picture is ugly: a strong, dictatorial personality, opposing an apostle, lying about him, blocking gospel workers, and putting out the very people who tried to help them.
Then John breaks in. Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God (3 John 11). He is not describing a single slip. He is describing a way of life. It may be that Diotrephes had embraced the gospel with his mind, even entered the ministry, and had never truly seen God by faith. You cannot truly know Jesus and remain unchanged. There is an initial change when God saves, and then a lifelong process that often feels slow. But grace changes us. That is one of its glories. The warning to Gaius is plain: do not go the way Diotrephes is going, even if his personality is persuasive and you are tempted to shrink back.
The Root: Fond Of Being First
The deeds shock us. The root will feel closer to home. John names it in verse 9. Diotrephes loveth to have the preeminence among them. He is fond of being first. Ambitious for distinction. That is the title of the message. The preeminence of self. The ugliness of pride.
Pride does not always look like a man casting people out of the church. Some of you would never do what he did. The native heart is still there. It swells in different shapes. This church is about me, my platform, my spotlight. This marriage is about me being pleased and having my way. These children are about me. They must make me look good. This job is about me. This drama is about me, because I must have attention. Only by pride cometh contention (Proverbs 13:10).
Even suffering can be bent that way. Your suffering is not ultimately about you. It is about the glory of God and His work to mold you after the image of Christ. We are born saying that everything is about me. In saving grace God brings a warfare within us. Every day the battle is the same. Is this about me, or is this about the Lord?
Diotrephes did not become what we see in one morning. He fed his pride a little at a time. He lived in the rut that life was about him. The thing grew. That is how the monster is made.
Who Is Worthy Of The First Place
If it is not about you, who is it about? Paul answers in Colossians 1. Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: in whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins (Colossians 1:12–14).
Who is the King, Jesus or you? Jesus is the King, and He is a wonderful King. We can admit with our mouths that the Lord is in control and still resent it. The next step is to say that it is right that He is in control. You are not the king. Christ is the king. John the Baptist had the fitting spirit: he was not worthy to stoop down and unloose the latchet of His shoes. In the moment you are angry and you want your way, remember who the King is. That will shape the response.
He is worthy of the first place because in Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, including this nasty pride. He is the image of the invisible God. The most you will see of God on this side of heaven is looking at Jesus. He that hath seen me hath seen the Father. He is the firstborn of every creature. That does not mean the Father had a wife and a first son. Firstborn is the old language of rank and superiority. God called David His firstborn, higher than the kings of the earth, though David was the last born in his house. The Father has given the Son prominence over everything and everybody, including you.
Who is the most important person in this room? Jesus. Who is the most important person in every room you will enter the rest of your life? Jesus. Diotrephes thought it was himself.
For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible… all things were created by him, and for him (Colossians 1:16). We can say amen to that and still live as if all things were created for us. To live as if life is for Him is not a loss. It is freedom. You begin to function as you were designed, created and redeemed for His purpose. He is before all things, and by Him all things consist. He is the head of the body, the church, the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things he might have the preeminence (Colossians 1:17–18).
Would you agree that Jesus alone is worthy of that place? Then ask to be freshly influenced by it, not only this morning, but tomorrow, and Wednesday afternoon. Yours is the first place, Lord.
Faithful Leadership, And The Counterfeit
Every church needs people like Gaius, walking in the gospel with a large heart. Every church also needs faithful leaders. God ordained leadership in the home, in the church, and in society. The purpose is not the leader’s kingdom. Destructive leadership promotes the leader. Godly leadership promotes the agenda of God and the true flourishing of those who are led.
Paul had authority, and he knew how to use it. Therefore I write these things being absent, lest being present I should use sharpness, according to the power which the Lord hath given me to edification, and not to destruction (2 Corinthians 13:10). He said hard things. He said them in humility and love, for their true good, not to build his own throne.
Parents, fathers and mothers, your charge over your children is not a stage on which to show how impressive you are, and not a way to live your best life through them. You are emissaries of the Lord for their flourishing, even when they drive you to distraction, even when they sin. Discipline, teach, instruct. Do it for Christ’s agenda and their true good. Some husbands and fathers, reacting to a world that mocks biblical manhood, have run the home like a dictatorship. It is not about you. It is about the glory of God, His word, and the good of those under your care.
This letter should move us to pray that God would raise up faithful pastors in His churches all over the world. Some have been burned by unfaithful men and have grown cynical of all church leadership. Pastors did not invent the office. The Lord did. There are blessings He is pleased to give in a particular way through the preached word, and through the prayers of faithful shepherds. Pray for your pastors to be faithful. Be willing to be led.
Paul’s charge to Timothy is a portrait of what Diotrephes was not. Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity… give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine… Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them (1 Timothy 4:12–16). A faithful leader wants to be shaped by the very word he preaches. He does not want to be a sermon machine. God says little about the gift to preach compared with what He says about character. The aim is to preach the word and seek to live the word, and to persevere in both.
Peter says the same. Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock (1 Peter 5:2–3). Willing. Watching. Not for gain. Not lording it over the people. An under-shepherd of the chief Shepherd. Pray those passages for the ministers of Christ. Gaius did not have a pastor like that. He had a man with head knowledge who loved himself, and who would oppose whoever got in the way of his position.
Do Not Feed The Monster
The command in the text is for us. Follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. Do not seek the preeminence of self. The battle is daily. Will I have first place, or will Christ?
If you do not resist pride and self-serving ways, they will eat and never lose their appetite. Feed the monster and it wants more. You can see this love of self in the urge to promote your accomplishments and possessions, in an inordinate desire for control, in needless conflict, in the obsession with being seen as right. The flesh has a two-letter sermon. Me. Please me. Listen to me. Serve me.
John Newton, the converted slave trader who wrote “Amazing Grace,” said he had known many wicked popes, but the worst pope he ever met was Pope Self.
Jesus told His disciples what following Him would cost. The Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected, and be slain, and be raised the third day. Then He said, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it (Luke 9:22–24). To follow Him is to die to Pope Self and say yes to King Jesus. The cross is an instrument of death. To follow Jesus feels, in one sense, like dying all the time. There is joy and peace in it, but dying is hard. What is a man advantaged if he gain the whole world and lose himself? What if you gained full control of the church and everything went your way? What have you gained? More of yourself. We sang it this morning: more about Jesus. More of His fellowship, more of communion with Him, more of doing His will. That is real gain.
We are so much like Diotrephes by nature that we would never climb out of that pit. That is why salvation is glorious. The Savior took our love of self and our love of being first, and paid the penalty to the Father. The Spirit comes and gives a new nature that says, You first, Lord. You are worthy of the preeminence. This marriage is not about me. This job is not about me. This suffering is not about me. This hard relationship is not about me. It is about Your glory. If any of that desire is in you, praise God. The Lord put it there.
We want the spirit of John the Baptist. The crowds had come to him. Then they began to go after Jesus, and his opponents tried to stir jealousy. He must increase, but I must decrease (John 3:30). As it should be. His work was to point people to Christ. Lord, You increase. I want to decrease.
A Good Report And Peace
John closes with another snapshot. Demetrius hath good report of all men, and of the truth itself: yea, and we also bear record; and ye know that our record is true (3 John 12). Not for our glory, but would it not be something if it could be truly said of us: that man is about the Lord; that woman is not stuck on herself; she loves Jesus and serves Him; you can trust him. Demetrius was not perfect. You will not be perfect. This was the theme of his life, the trajectory. He loved the One who had died for him. John had no greater joy than to hear that his children walked in truth.
He had many things to write, but he trusted he would soon see Gaius and speak face to face. Peace be to thee. Our friends salute thee. Greet the friends by name (3 John 13–14). That is not a filler line. John had heard those words from Jesus. After the resurrection, the disciples shut in and afraid, the Lord stood in the midst and said, Peace be unto you. The Christ we sang about this morning, who lived and died and rose again, who shows how deep the Father’s love is, says to His people, Peace be to thee. May it be well with you. May you be whole within, because of My love and My grace.
May God help us to dethrone the preeminence of self, and to rejoice that Jesus is the King. That is as it should be.
Lord, You alone are worthy of the first place. Forgive the pride that keeps climbing toward Your throne. Shape us by the gospel. Make our homes, our work, our sufferings, and our churches about Your glory and the good of Your people. Increase, Lord. We must decrease. Peace be to us, for Jesus’ sake. Amen.
Adapted from the sermon preached September 13, 2026 by Pastor Timothy Guess.
Further reading: 3 John 9–14; Matthew 10:40; Proverbs 13:10; Colossians 1:12–18; 2 Corinthians 13:10; 1 Timothy 4:12–16; 1 Peter 5:2–4; Luke 9:22–24; John 3:30.
